Emma's Blog

Grace Emma Smith has arrived

2006-08-07T21:34:00.000+01:00

Hiya all,

Grace Emma Smith arrived on Saturday 29th July at 7.08pm weighing in at 7lb 3oz. It was a very quick labour, 3 hours 8 mins, with only 13 minutes of pushing. Apparently this is very normal with a second baby. Having said that it was also a very intense labour, but I managed it with only Gas and Air, I seemed to go into myself and I was almost in a dream like state for most of it. All I remember was this Dance track going through my mind and the midwifes words were the words of the tract, very strange!!!! Oh yeah and everything was strangly yellow but I never opened my eyes till she arrived!!! She's amazing and it's so much easier than last time!! I'm not nearly as stressed about things as I was last time, which I think makes me a better mummy or at least a happier mummy. I'm loving having a little girl, even though I wanted a boy, I wouldn't change her for the world!! Sam adores her and helps me change her nappy, he spends a lot of time kissing and stroking her. Chris is still on paternity leave at the moment, he goes back to work next week, so that will be when it really hits home that I have two children. That's my lot now, I'm never putting myself through pregnancy again, the last few weeks of this one were too much for me and I couldn't put two children through what Sam went through in that last week. He didn't have a clue where he was from one day to the next, he was just being passed from pillar to post cos I couldn't cope. Anyway must go, my little girl needs a feed, will keep you up dated as much as possible

Em x

36 weeks and counting!!

2006-07-10T18:18:00.000+01:00

Yep, 36 weeks already, so hopefully two weeks to go really, if it all goes the same as when I had Sam!! I know that's probably not going to happen but hey lets live in hope!! I'm quite big and had to give up work earlier than planned, I should have finished the week before last but I've been off for three weeks now. I gave up earlier cos I had another early labour scare, they gave me steroids for baby's lungs and all's been fine since. It's been hard work though, I'm aching all over and it's difficult looking after Sam when I'm in such a lot of pain!

Baby's names are Henry David or Grace Emma, it's changed a few times now, but this seems to e the final choice.

Anyway, I'm off, must feed my little boy then prepare Chris's dinner, I'll pop on as soon as I get chance after having baby.

Ohhh before I forget, my brother has brought his wedding forward to next month, can't believe it he was meant to be getting married in 2008 but he's had his posting and that means him and Emma moving to norfolk, so they're better off being married so they can go into married quarters. So that's three weddings for me to attend in the weeks following my due date, Thanks a lot everyone!!! LOL

eM X

The sun is out and I am fat!!! LOL

2006-05-10T10:46:00.000+01:00

Yes, I'm massive, I'm sure I'm bigger this time than I was with Sam. Struggling to do much at the moment and still only 28 weeks, could only be 10 to go judging on the fact Sam came at 38. Sam's new bedroom is nearly ready and I can't wait to move him into it, I don't want him to feel like he's being pushed out so I want him in there well before bubs arrives. He's a proper little walking man now, and into everything, especially doors for some reason. We noticed this whilst on holiday in Butlins back in March, when we took him to the soft play, he would go straight to the play house and stand there for ages just opening and closing the door, much to the annoyance of all the other children! That's not so much a problem those things are built for children and they cannot really hurt themselves but proper grown up house doors can hurt, as Sam has found out a lot recently. The thing is as soon as we open a door he races to it and he's really quite fast now, so your lucky if you get there first. He also got a thick lip the other day when he fell on his toy box, he's very clumsy at the moment. He's still loving nursery but he may not be going for much longer as it looks like I may have to pack in work after this baby is born for financial reasons. I can get pretty much the same amount of money for being at home and not spend £260 a month on child care, it's just such a hard decision to make, because I'm so scared of loosing my identity. Oh well, I'm sure I'll get there in the end.

I finish work 7 weeks today, and I'm ready for it, like I say I feel so big and heavy, just getting up in the morning is hard let alone getting to work. Chris is fine, work's not going great for him but hey when is it!!! He's looking forward to baby arriving but I think he's under some strange illusion that it won't change our lives much, I'm fully aware it will this time! Sam's a perfect little sleeper and has been since he was six weeks old but I'm aware this one could be a nightmare, I feel it's probably better to think negative and hopefully be pleasantly surprised.

Anyway, I'll try to get on a few more times before I go on mat leave

Em x

2006-03-15T10:24:00.000Z

Sammy

2006-03-15T10:23:00.000Z

Emma and Sam

So sorry it's been such a long time!!

2006-03-15T09:59:00.000Z

Well, I see Sam was 5 months last time I blogged! Well time does fly cos he'll be one next week! It's gone too quick, oh and I must tell you before I forget (Like I could) I've gone and got myself pregnant again, I'm currently 19 weeks and I'll be due August 7th 2006. Sort of hard to believe I'm putting myself through it all again so soon, but I'm excited when I get chance to think about it all! I've had all the sickness etc, and I'm now over that, which is great, now I'm nearly half way there and already feeling like a elephant, I've just got to work myself up to the labour, fingers crossed it'll be a positive experience like last time.

Sam's keeping me very busy, he started crawling in the week before christmas, which made the presents less interesting to him, it took 9 hours to open all of his presents and then another four hours on boxing day at my mum's to open all the ones from my family! He's not a present opening child, and not overly interested in wrapping paper! Strange child. He's recently started to cruise around the furniture, but prefers crawling to anything cos it gets him places much quicker.

We're going away for a few days next week. Having a proper english family holiday at Butlins in Skeggy, I just want to have a holiday before I get too big, it's not cost much either, £109 for 4 nights and that dinner, bed and breakfast so we only have to find our lunch!

I reckon I'm going to have another boy! I'm really quite pleased about that though, cos we have so many lovely clothes that Sam only wore once it'd be nice to get them all out again, also I think it'll be lovely when they're a little older, having permanent play mates! This baby is a lot less active than Sam was, it doesn't beat me up quite so much, hope that's not a sign of something bad.

Anyway must get off, I'll try to blog more regularly, I promise

Take care

Luv Em x

Sorry it's been a while

2005-09-02T11:39:00.000+01:00

Well life as a mummy has taken it's toll on me completely. Sam is now 5 months and one week old and I feel like I've had the best and worst few months of my life. 6 weeks after Sam was born I suffered badly with post natal depression. I can honestly say those couple of months were the worst I have ever experienced. I could hardly look at my little boy. I felt like I didn't love him it was horrid. Looking back I now believe I never properly bonded with him from birth, I was no focused on being Supermummy. I remember when he was born I didn't cry, which I thought was wierd. I don't hink I had that immediate rush of love for him. I managed to pull my self out of the black hole I was in, the health visitors were rubbish, as they were more bothered about whether I was going to harm Sam, they were checking on me daily, when I needed something like counselling or a support group that wasn't offered.

When Sam was ten weeks old I had a meeting with work, I felt I needed some adult conversation and to feel needed by someone other than Sam. I came back to work one day a week when Sam was 12 weeks old, and I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. I'm due to start two and a half days a week at the end of september. I now enjoy the time I spend with Sam but also look forward to going to work. Sam is a much happier contented little man cos his mummy is calm and relaxed.

My house may not be immaculate and dinner may not be on the table when chris gets home from work every night, but what does all that matter when we are finally the happy family we always wanted to be.

I hope to write again soon, especially when i'm at work a bit more

Em x

I'm a mummy

2005-04-12T17:48:00.000+01:00

Well, my little one didn't want to wait, and arrived two weeks early on the 26th March.

Samuel Christopher Smith was born at 04.58am weighing 7lb 11oz, and boy is he a handfull!!! I don't think 9 months is long enough to prepare yourself for having a baby.

The labour itself wasn't too bad, I was in labour for about 24 hours but only in hospital in established labour for 6.5 hours, I was pushing for 1 hour 15 minutes. I would go through it all again, it's the most amazing experience ever. Sam has dark hair and he's the spitting image of his daddy, who is extremely taken with him.

He's a right screamer, but luckily mainly during the day. Nights aren't too bad, sometimes he sleeps for 6 hours at a time.

Anyway, i'll tell you more when I have time, just thought I'd let everyone know!!!

Daytime Telly is soooooooo boring!!!

2005-03-12T15:46:00.000Z

Hi everyone, well the title says it all really. I'm still pregnant, although I nearly had the baby a couple of weeks ago. The hospital stopped the contractions and I've practically been housebound since then. I know it's for mine and the baby's own good, but I'm so bored now. The nesting has kicked in but physically I'm pretty much unable to do anything, the baby's head is now so low down, walking further than a few hundred yards at a time is quite painful. I did manage to hover the baby's room yesterday after we had the new carpet put down, so that was quite an achievement. I had a midwife appointment on Thursday and I'm measuring 39 weeks when I'm 36 weeks, so baby could make an early appearance!!! At present I'm analysing every twinge etc, it's a little frustrating, I just want my physical energy back and soon!!! Chris is getting impatient also, he couldn't understand why they had to stop my contractions, I had to explain that at 34 weeks although the baby would survive and probably wouldn't need any help breathing, it would still be premature and that would not be the best start in life for our little one. Anyway we have since been told that the baby is large for it's age so if the contractions start again they will not stop them again so we'll have to wait and see.

I'll blog as soon as I get chance or feel up to it after baby Grace / Samuel has arrived but you may have top bear with me for a bit.

2 weeks left at work, 8 weeks till baby arrives (Hopefully)

2005-02-11T08:36:00.000Z

Well the title says it all really. I've found my replacement for work and she starts on Monday, then I finish in two weeks. Hopefully she'll pick things up quickly enough so I can spend the next two weeks just overseeing everything.

Had a fall again on Wednesday! This time I actually fell on my bump (Scary!!!), I was on my way to work and I just slipped. It really scared me, epople came running over to see if IO was alright, but I just got up and carried on going. The full extent of what had just happened hit me when I got to work a couple of minutes later, I'm rhesus negative blood group and because Chris is a positive blood group it's highly likely that the baby is a different blood group to me!!! This causes all sorts of issues some of which I don't understand, but if I have a severe knock or trauma that jolts me I have to get to hospital as my blood and the baby's blood could start mixing and this can cause problems. So I spent the day in hospital being monitored and having tests done. Everything seems fine now, I had a scan and baby has now turned and is head down, also the placenta has moved so I should be able to have a natural birth, which is excellent news!!!

I think the thing that upset me the most on wednesday was the fact that my mum and dad are in Basingstoke at the moment because my sister is in hospital as she has appendicitus (sp?) and Chris couldn't get away from work so I was pretty much on my own. Although I have to be very greatful for caring bosses as Carl my manager took me to the hospital and stayed with me till I was settled, so that was nice of him!!

Uncomfortable!!!

2005-01-25T16:04:00.000Z

Yes, I'm at that stage!!! Totally uncomfortable no matter what, I think the only time I'm truly happy at the moment is when I'm asleep!!! I cannot walk very far at all, and even just sitting down is uncomfortable!!!!

Anyway, we got the good news we've been waiting for last week, Chris has got his promotion, he's started today as manager of the machinemart branch at Nottingham, so no more worries about money, who'd have thought a few months back I'd be saying that hey!!!

We went to the managers do at the weekend, Chris really enjoyed himself, I'm dead proud of him, he really deserves this break.

Now I just need to get on at him about decorating that nursery. Then it'll be our bedroom, then the hall, then the kitchen and so on!!!!! Poor guy.

Anyway, only 4 and a half weeks left at work, 10 weeks till sproglet is due, I can't wait, it's starting to drag!!!!!

Sorry, it's been a while!

2005-01-19T17:09:00.000Z

But I'm back, it's been a mad, hectic few weeks. I've been back at work since the 4th of January, but just haven't had time to post. I'm in the process of interviewing people for my maternity cover, and it looks like we may have found someone, she's a friend of mine and she's very reliable, so that's good.

Christmas was ok, although not very peaceful, Chris's mum took over Christmas day completely again, and by the time we finally got to my mum and dad's house we were completely full and tired. His mum said she would have dinner done for 2pm so we went round at about 12pm, figuring this would give us time to open pressies before dinner. Anyway, dinner was eventually served at going on 5pm, this meant that when we got round to my mum and dad's they were about ready for tea, cos I'd told them what time his mum was doing dinner and we've had problems before, they had their lunch earlier. My mum put a lovely tea on and me and Chris tried our best, but we felt really ill by about 9pm and both headed off for bed at around 9.30pm. We really felt like we'd short changed my parents in a way. They've always told us not to worry and that they don't have to see us on Christmas day but this was the last one they would have chance to anyway, cos next year we are not going anywhere and we are spending the day on our own with baby.

New Year on the other hand was completely blissful, I had my PJ's on by 8pm, and we sat and watched some of our DVD's and a documentry on Friends. Then at midnight we watched the fireworks from the front door, as we have a view right over the city it was really nice. It was the first year in about 11 years that I've stayed in and I really enjoyed not having to worry about getting home at the end of it all. In the end I was in bed for 12.15.

So now we are in the year that Samuel Christopher or Grace Emma will make their appearance, I think that's why Christmas and New Year went so quickly, I've got so much to look forward to and do this year. I am now quite big, and my belly is proper getting in the way. Baby is very active and now will kick things off my belly like in the maltesers ad. I'm finishing work on the 25th February, so not long now. I am 29 weeks at the moment so only 11 weeks to go.

Will this be my last peaceful Christmas??

2004-12-23T17:09:00.000Z

I think it may be, mind you Christmas is never very peaceful for us anyway because we end up running here there and everywhere!

Ended up at the hospital yesterday, Baby bump decided to give me a fright, I started getting shooting pains and baby slowed up on the movements, something just didn't feel right. So I called my midwife and she told me to go to the hospital. There they lay me on a bed and checked the heart beat which was fine, I then had to wait an hour or so for a scan. In this hour baby woke up and started kicking like mad, so I felt a right fool when I went for the scan and there it was waving away at us!!! What a relief though. The midwife at the hospital was really nice she said we'd done the right thing, and we were not to feel silly about going in. She did say however, that I need to slow down a bit and take things easier, so I intend to do so. I'm going to chill out over christmas and do very little, after christmas I'm going to advertise for my replacement at work, interview the candidates and then train them. So hopefully my last four weeks at work (February) should be just watching over the new person doing my job. Might not sound relaxing, but if you did my job you'd realise it is!!!

I've got another driving test in between christmas and new year, so fingers crossed for that. We aren't doing anything for new year this year. My family never celebrate it and I don't feel like going anywhere really.

So happy christmas, and I'll speak to you again soon!!

Hiya, I'm back!!!

2004-12-14T13:05:00.000Z

Sorry, it's been a while again. Last time I wrote I was going for my 20 week scan, well that went fine, apart from the fact the placenta is quite low down, they told me this shouldn't cause any problems as they usually move out of the way before labour starts, so hopefully this will be the case.

Yesterday I had another scan to check the baby's heart, this is because I have a Heart Murmur, it's nothing major and I've never suffered with it, I just have to have check ups. Anyway, they told me they were ruling out any major problems with Baby's heart, they cannot however rule out minor problems, such as a minor Heart Murmur like mine as these do not always show up on the scan. As long as there is nothing major wrong I can cope with it. Baby was really jumping around all the way throught the scan, and it was great to feel and see it moving on the screen. Chris was there and he really enjoyed seeing the little one again.

I have a midwife appointment this week on thursday, so we should hear the heart beat then, I've heard it before, but Chris hasn't yet.

Work's going ok, but I'm still not enjoying it as much as before I found out I was pregnant, I think all my priorities have changed now. I hope I can come back as normal after my maternity leave, but we'll have to see. My boss has offered that I can work from home, although this is not the job I do now, I think a change would be good, I'm not sure I could do the job I do now on a part time basis, which is what I will be doing once the Baby is here.

Well Xmas is approaching fast, and I have been very organised this year, maybe that's because I know this is my last chance to be mega organised, I'm sure Baby will have a massive effect on it next year. I've got everyones presents sorted apart from stocking fillers for Chris, these can be bought on my lunch hours, so I do not need to come into town on saturdays and get knocked about. My belly is getting in the way now, and I cannot squeeze past people in the aisles of shops anymore.

This will be the last Christmas where me and Chris have to do any running around on the day itself. Next year we will be having a family christmas and I will be cooking christmas dinner. We are asking grandparents round on boxing day, my mum and dad shouldn't be an issue, but I'm sure Chris's mum will have something to say about it.

Anyway, can't promise to write again before xmas, as I will be very busy, so if I don't make sure you all have a good one.

Luv Em x

Scan Day

2004-11-24T13:30:00.000Z

I've got another scan this afternoon, it's my 20 week one but I'm actually 21 weeks now, oh well! I'm looking forward to it, as the change in Baby Bump should be amazing, we could (If we wanted to) find out what the sex is, but we've decided not to, I'd like to keep it as a surprise. Also there's loads of nice yellow and white outfits in the shops, we've decided not to buy much anyway, because I'm sure there will be loads of people buying things for the baby when it arrives, so we're just going to get a few baby grows and vests etc. Mind you when I say a few I mean about ten, because they don't half get through them. Nappies are going to be the expensive thing, I've heard that they get through about ten a day at the beginning, the pack I bought the other week was nearly £5 and I can't remember how many were in that.

Chris is taking me out for dinner after we've had the scan, we're going to Frankie and Benny's it's new and my mum went there the other night, and she liked it. I hope the menu is good because Chris is a fussy eater!! Another reason for us to go out is that Chris is going away tomorrow, until sunday, so I'll be staying at my parents until he gets back (Don't like being in the house on my own). I'm really going to miss him, this will be the longest we've been apart in 5 years.

I failed my Driving test!!

2004-11-22T15:46:00.000Z

Yes, I messed up, I was doing so well, despite the horrid rain, I had a very near miss at the round about which was not my fault and I dealt with it correctly, but I think I was so preoccupied with that, that I didn't notice a guy walk upto the pelican crossing and press the button. Anyway when I did notice the light's were changing I was almost on top of the crossing and had to make a snap decision, do I carry on or stop, I could have stopped there was nothing behind me, but I thought if I did I would skid to a stop and end up stopping on the crossing, so I carried on going cos it was still on amber, just as we got onto the crossing I noticed the light change to red, FAIL!!!

I was upset because to make life even worse I'd only got 6 minor faults, which is way below what's allowed, but I had one serious fault which is an immediate fail!! I was fine till I got home and had to pay my instructor for the use of the car, it just brought home how much money this all costs, also I wanted it all out of the way before the baby comes along or even before I get too big, then I don't have to think about it.

Anyway, I managed to get another text but it's not until February 1st (I'll be 33 weeks by then) I'm trying to get a cancellation.

On the up side of things, baby bump is doing ok!!! Oh even more good news got a cancellation for driving test whilst I was writing this, 30th December that's better isn't it!!!!

Hiya

2004-11-16T16:39:00.000Z

Feeling a lot better now, having good days and bad days, but all in all feeling well. Baby is growing fast, which means belly is growing fast, I'm getting powerful kicks, which are nice and reassuring.

I'm looking forward to the weekend as my friend is coming home from Ireland, she has got a little boy and he's nine months old, I can't wait to see them.

Had my maternity meeting with work, it went well, looks like I'll be off work for anything between six months and a year, hoping we can afford for me to take a year off. I'm planning on coming back to work part-time after the baby's born, I don't want to loose my career, I want something when my kids are grown up.

I've got another scan next week, and my driving test this week so it's all go at the moment.

I'll let you know how I get on.

I feel rough today

2004-11-04T15:12:00.000Z

I don't know what's wrong with me, I feel achey all over!! My head hurts, my shoulders hurt and my neck and back. It's not nice!! I've got the pregnancy feeling in my abdomen anyway, which feels like my body is being dragged to the floor and then this on top of it all. I hope I've not got a bug, because I was really looking forward to this weekend, cos I've got nothing planned so far, so it was going to be a chill out and tidying weekend.

Other than that, things seem ok, Chris is busy working all the time, to get extra money in. That seems to be his main priority at the moment, he was always bothered about money before, but now he seems more bothered. I get a little worried sometimes, like that he puts too much emphasis on how much money we have coming in, but I suppose he only wants the best for the baby and us.

Things have calmed down a bit at work, we've all settled down now the split has officially happened. I'm having my meeting soon about my maternity contract, so I'm looking forward to that, I just want to plan ahead and start counting down the weeks until I go on maternity leave. I'm hoping it will be the last week in February. I don't want to finish too early or I'll be bored.

Sorry Again

2004-11-01T13:52:00.000Z

It's been a long time since I last wrote. Things are still good, I'm showing quite a bit now, and feeling very heavy, although I've lost a stone and a half since I found out I was pregnant.

I'm now 18 weeks gone, I am enjoying it more even though I'm very tired and a bit emotional sometimes. People have to take me as I am at the moment, I am getting sick of people asking if I am alright, I AM NOT ILL, I AM PREGNANT. I'm needing more and more time to myself, I find this helps me get my head round things easier. I like to spend my lunch time alone, and some people don't understand this. I suppose in a way I am enjoying my time alone because I know I'm not going to get much of it in a few months time.

I am absolutely dreading xmas, I pretty much feel this way every year because I feel like Chris's mum forgets that everyone is celebrating it and not just her family, she expects us to spend most of the day at there house, my family don't get a look in. My mum and dad don't really expect anything from us, they wouldn't even moan if they didn't see us on xmas day as long as we had a good day. Anyway next year it should change because the baby will be here by then, and we've told everyone that we want to spend xmas in our own home, mind you this probably means that his mum and dad will want to come round and watch the baby open the presents, again my mum and dad have told us that they will see us when we get chance, they don't want us to feel pressured. And I thought Xmas was meant to be fun!!!!!

Sorry!!

2004-10-04T11:16:00.000+01:00

It's been a long time hasn't it? Chris and I went away for our first wedding anniversary, we only went to Scarborough for a few days, it was nice the weather was fairly good, we went there because it was where we had our first holiday alone about 4 years ago. I haven't been back to Scarborough for a bit, so it was lovely just to spend a few days there on our own again. We just did what we wanted when we wanted.

We've been back just over a week now, and since then I've had another Scan. It was amazing, the difference between the scan I had at 7 weeks and this one (13 weeks) was unbelievable. We could actually see this little person moving around. I'm convinced it's a boy, but I don't want to find out till it's born so forgive me if I refer to 'it' as 'he' I can't help it. We got some wonderful pictures of the scan, you could see it's nose and lips, it made it feel so real.

On thursday night last week I felt the baby move, we were lying in bed just drifting off when it decided to have a party. It was the wierdest but nicest feeling ever. Chris was quite upset because at this stage he still can't feel it. I checked in my books and they confirmed that itis possible to start feeling the baby move at this point. It's true though, it's like nothing I've ever felt before, I knew it was the baby because i'd never experienced something like it.

I'm more excited now than I've been so far, the sickness has worn off, and I'm enjoying the pregnancy now, I can eat again and I have a bit more energy. We've started decorating the baby's room, well I say decorating, Chris took all the wallpaper off and found a right mess underneath, looks like we may need a plasterer!!!! Money Money Money!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, some more good news, I've had a pay rise, I didn't think I stood a chance with me going on maternity leave in february/March, I didn't request it, they just bought it up in a meeting last week, it made my week completely.

I've been a busy bee

2004-09-10T16:47:00.000+01:00

Things are a little mad at work at the moment, not really had any time to log on recently. We're moving offices next week (Same building, different office) so things are a little mad with all the organising of it.

I've been feeling perticularly sick and emotional and tired etc..... I've been feeling a little useless and a bit like a failiure. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to work. And I feel like a useless wife because I can't face cooking, and half the time I'm to tired to clean. I'm really not liking this stage. People keep telling me that I should be excited and happy, which I am, but there's a long way to go yet and this stage is horrid. Anyway the midwife told me that I should be past this in the next few weeks. Keeping my fingers crossed!!!!!!!!!

I break up for a week next Friday, we're going to a wedding on the Saturday and then we're going to Scarborough for 4 nights, i'm ready for the break!! I really like Scarborough because it reminds me of so many happy times when I was little and when I was in my teens. None of my family are there anymore but it's still nice to go.

Anyway better go and so the post, see ya

Hiya, sorry it's been a while!!!

2004-09-02T13:23:00.000+01:00

Been fairly busy, had a bit of a scare last week, thought I was miscarrying but luckily I didn't. I ended up going for a scan and all seems to be well, had to take some time off work to rest, which was nice.

I'm still feeling sick, just about every day, which is definately not nice. I'm hoping it wears off in the next month. Had my first Midwifes appointment yesterday, it went well, they don't do much really, it's just filling in forms and stuff.

Chris's mum is upsetting me again!!!!! I was telling my Sister in law about the pram we've chosen and his mum said that she's not buying us a pram and that we can have a push chair!!! I didn't realise that you could offer to buy something for someone and then specify exactly what they should have. She wants us to have the same as what Chris's brother and his wife had. But we want a pram. Anyway it's our baby, not hers!! I've told Chris to tell her that if the problem is the cost, then she can just give us the amount that she wants to spend and my Mum and Dad will make it up, after all they were never given the opportunity to buy the pram / Pushchair etc. So we'll see what comes of that!!!

I passed my Theory Test yesterday, so now my instructor is sorting out my practical, I can't wait to get it done. It'll be so nice when I can just go out in the car without having to force Chris to come everywhere with me.

Get in gear!!!!!

2004-08-18T11:12:00.000+01:00

Well I had my first driving test last night (I say first, I did actually have lessons when I was 17 but never took a test). It went well, and the instructor says I should put in for my test as soon as possible. I've got to do the Theory test first, so I've booked that for 1st Sept, as I'm off that day for my first midwife appointment. So as soon as I have passed that I can go in for my practical! I think getting pregnant has really given me the kick up the backside that I needed to get back to my driving lessons. Also my insurance money for my scooter came through last week (£760.00) so I haven't got to worry about where the money is coming from.

On the sickness front, things are improving, I'm feeling sick at tea time at the moment, which is a little annoying as it normally comes on when I've cooked a meal, and I'm just sitting down to eat it. I'm trying to eat little and often, and just what I fancy when I fancy it, rather than worrying too much about what I'm eating. As far as I am aware things are progressing well, the baby should be the size of a bean at the moment (It's all rather exciting).

I went to a wedding at the weekend, the weather was nice, which made the day lovely. The only down side was that I could only have a few sips of wine, it's more difficult than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong I wasn't a heavy drinker, but I did enjoy a drink, so it's a little strange at the moment.

I went out with my cousin and her little boy on Sunday, we went to the local pub for a meal and then we went to Markeaton Park, it's great there for kids, they've got a massive paddling pool which is free to use, and play areas and little go carts. I experienced the push chair for a bit, I think I will need L Plates when I have to get one!!!!!! They can be hard work!!!

So all in all not a bad weekend, although I hope I can spend a little more of it with my husband this weekend!!

I have been very poorly today

2004-08-10T16:11:00.000+01:00

I didn't make it into work until 12.00noon today as I couldn't face getting on the bus, it is not nice. I feel a little better at the moment, I have to keep reminding myself that something wonderful will come out of this in the end, and that the sickness will only last for a couple of months hopefully (that seems a long time at the moment).

Other than all that I am ok, it just seems that there's a long way to go yet, I suppose I'm a little impatient, but I just want to have a bump and then the baby, I'm a bit excited about it all at the moment. Obviously we're not buying anything for a few months yet but it is nice to look as it makes it all feel real. Some things are very technical and a little OTT, I don't think I'll bother buying a massaging baby bouncer some how!!! I am reading three books at the moment, one scary one, one with pictures and a funny one. They are all very interesting, the picture one is fantastic as it shows you week by week what is going on in my belly, it's very interesting.

One thing I am not dealing with very well at the moment is my worrying. Everytime I feel any little twinge I think there is something wrong. I probably felt some of these twinges before I even got pregnant, but because they are in the general area I authomatically assume something is wrong. I have given up squash as I was worried that I may be overdoing it a bit, also my squash partner was very aware of it and scared to do anything to energetic, it's not a good game if you can't play it fast and throw yourself around the court! I am still going to go to the gym but I am only going to go on certain machines, I'm going to speak to one of the people there about what is best for me. I think I am going to start swimming again and I may start a Yoga class or something similar, maybe even Aqua Aerobics. We'll see!!!

so sick and tired!!!!

2004-08-09T11:37:00.000+01:00

I am not feeling good today, woke up this morning feeling awful and it's got no better. Couldn't eat my cereal, think I may try toast tomorrow, the only thing I have managed to drink this morning is water. I don't drink tea or coffee anyway, but I can't handle anything with any strong flavours!!! I'm feeling very strange, my body has been taken over, all I want to do is sleep.

The weekend wasn't too bad, I been relaxing mainly, I spent Saturday afternoon in my mother in laws garden with my sister in law and my neice. It was a lovely afternoon but a little too hot, and I ended up with a headache.

I'm going to a wedding next weekend, it's an old school friend, we've been invited to the whole day, I hope I don't get too tired to quickly.

I'm going to have a baby - part 2

2004-08-04T13:39:00.000+01:00

Right, now I have time, I'll update you on what's been going on.

On monday I felt a bit strange, and I realised that my period was late, I didn't think that much of it as it has happened before! Anyway I nipped to the chemist and picked up a couple of home tests, when I got back to work I thought I'd do one then. Well, I didn't believe it at first, I called my friend from work to come and check it, she agreed with me that it was positive, then she burst into tears, at this point I was in shock, I didn't know what to think. Then I realised I had told my mate before I'd told Chris. I rang him straight away and he was over the moon.

I went to the doctors on Monday night, he told me that they don't do anything until 9 weeks, I'm about 5 weeks at the moment (We think). But he said if my period was late and I'd done a positive test, then I'm definately pregnant!!!

Chris and I went to our parents that night and gave them the good news, they were all slightly shocked but all in all they are happy.

So here I am on Wednesday, and today is the first day I've felt sick, and boy did I feel sick this morning, I really struggled to eat anything this morning, but it's a little better now, I've managed to have some lunch, although not much, and what I did have was not exactly healthy! I really ought to sort that out!

So there we go, Chris and I are going to be parents, it feels kind of wierd, we always said we'd do it one day, but not quite now. I suppose we have to be greatful that Chris is back at a job he loves and that I'm in a secure job, and that my work will support me whatever my decision!

I'm going to have a baby!!!!

2004-08-04T12:00:00.000+01:00

Not exactly planned but we are both over the moon, we can't quite believe it yet. Chris can't wait to be a daddy!

I'll tell you more later

I've got that monday feeling!!

2004-07-19T14:43:00.000+01:00

I have had a good weekend, partly because I didn't do much. I had my hair cut on Saturday morning which was a lot cheaper. My Hairdresser has gone mobile so it only cost me £15.00, that's about half the price it was!!!

I Spent the rest of the day on Saturday on my own as Chris was working. I finally got to send some time with him yesterday, which was nice!

It's now Monday, and it's back to work. But not for Chris, he's got the day off today, it's annoying being at work when he's off, but I suppose it's the same for him when I'm off. Next weekend he's working all weekend so I'll hardly see him at all.

Yay it's Friday

2004-07-16T11:12:00.000+01:00

Again I am so ready for the weekend, still really tired though. Went to the gym last night and had a really good workout but I'm paying for it slightly now and I'm sure I'll feel it even more tomorrow.

Going out for lunch soon with one of the guys from work, some of us always like to go out on a Friday for lunch, but there's only two of us going today.

I think I'll be chilling out most of the weekend, my hairdresser's coming round tomorrow morning and then the weekend is my own, I think i'll do the garden if it's nice.

Yawn Yawn Yawn!!

2004-07-15T13:08:00.000+01:00

I am so tired today, I could just fall asleep here and now and possibly sleep for a week.

I played squash last night, we didn't have th court booked until 9.20pm so by the time we were due to go i'd settled in front of the telly! We had a fantastic few games though and I did win one of them.

When I got home I stayed up to watch Big Brother and then I kept the telly on till midnight, so I'm completely done in.

Work isn't getting any easier at the moment, the new contract stuff I'm doing seems never ending, I'm hoping it will be done in the next couple of weeks.

The insurance guy came to look at my bike yesterday and wrote it off, which is good news because now I don't have to worry about getting it fixed and selling it myself, also they are going to give me enough money to buy a new bike even though I don't want another one, so now we can have a break this year, we're thinking of going to Scarborough for a couple of days because we haven't been for three years.

So even though I'm tired today I'm in a reasonably good mood!

I'm Back!!!!!

2004-07-14T09:08:00.000+01:00

I'm sorry I've not posted for a bit.

I've had such a lot on in the past few weeks.

Firstly, Chris has got a new Job, he seems to be enjoying it, and the place where he used to work have also offered him a job, so he's got some decisions to make.

Secondly, my scooter has been stolen. I went out the other friday night, when I got back at two in the morning I didn't notice if it was there or not, I just went straight to bed, then when I woke on the saturday and looked out of the window it wasn't there. I phoned the police and they caught a 15 year old riding it on saturday night, but they've wrecked it by the looks of it!!!! It's quite upsetting because now I have to get lifts to and from work and I can't go to the gym until chris comes home which is sometimes gone 8pm.

So things have been pretty hectic on the home front, but work's mad at the moment, some new regulations have kicked in last week, so we've had to redo all the contracts (That's where I come in) I have spent hours on all this paperwork and still I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!! I can't complain though really, because I do love my job, it's the best job I've ever had.

My brother is going to Afganistan either today or tomorrow for three months, so that's another worry, he was in iraq for three months last year and that was horrible not knowing how he was and waiting for his letters to come through, I'm hoping he'll be ok again this time. He's looking forward to it, after all that is what he went in the army for.

Anyway I will keep posting and letting you know how my brother is getting on as and when I hear from him.

It's a sad day

2004-06-25T10:04:00.000+01:00

We were so upset last night! We just couldn't believe we were out!!!!!

But that was just the beginning of my upset for the night! Me and Chris walked home after the match, we made it home for about 11, I sat on the door step whilst Chris had a fag and moaned about Beckham, then I noticed a shape next to my scooter on the drive. At first I thought it was a bag or something, then I realised there was a person next to my bike!!!!!!

I asked what he was doing and he got up as if he was drunk and walked away then he got on another scooter and road off. Me and Chris stood there in shock for a minute, then we decided to phone the police.

The police turned up, I told them that I thought he was trying to nick it, they took a statement and that was that......until this morning. Luckily Chris was giving me a lift to work this morning because if I'd got on my scooter I could have had a very nasty accident. They had actually been trying to steal the wheel off my scooter, they had undone some bolts and disconnected something to do with the breaks (to technical for me). So i'm very glad I didn't get on it this morning, although I will have to pay a fortune for it to collected and fixed.

What a night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

France 2 England 1

2004-06-14T09:05:00.000+01:00

How mortified we were!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to watch the match at a friends house and we had so much hope (and beer!) we were convinced we would win. What a shame. All I've got now is a hangover!

I'm Back

2004-06-10T15:18:00.000+01:00

Well actually I was back at work yesterday, but I was so busy catching up on everything I forgot to log on!!!!!!

I had an absolutely mad weekend, I feel like I spent nearly all of it with children under the age of two. I can definately say that it has put me off having children for the time being. I was with my cousins little boy on saturday whilst she moved house. Josh is so cute but very quiet and more interested in sitting back and watching what's going on around him than actually playing!!! I took him to the park but he wasn't interested in going on any of the things so we walked and walked and walked......... It must have been good for me pushing a pushchair all that way!! Lets hope I've lost a little weight.

On sunday it was my neice Jessica's 2nd birthday party, which seemed to consist of a small child screaming her head off untill she got what she wanted!!!

On Monday I went to visit my best friend Beanie, she normally lives in Ireland with her boyfriend and their little boy ben (6 Months) but she's back for a few weeks. Another of my old school friends was there too and she had a little boy 3 months ago!!! I feel like I am the only person on this earth with no baby!!! (not that that's a bad thing). I did feel a bit out of place.

On tuesday I finally got some exclusively adult company, for part of the day at least. Chris was off so we went to Megabowl, and did some unlimited bowling (I'm paying for it now, I ache all over). Then we went to my brother in laws as it was Jessica's actual birthday (Yes that's right we have to go round twice!)

So that was my weekend!!! I then had to come back to a pile of paperwork, and went home yesterday with a massive headache!!!!

I am completely done in!!!

2004-06-03T10:27:00.000+01:00

Work has been a complete nightmare over the past few days. The phones were down on Tuesday (all Day) so we had very little contact with the outside world, we had to use our mobile and claim it back. Anyway that wasn't the worst of it, because the phones were down it's put us back a few days. I have gone home every night this week feeling emotionally drained.

I'm really looking forward to the weekend as I have also got Monday and Tuesday off. I initially booked them of so I could get some house work done, but then I realised I've got so many other things to do the house work may have to wait. I'm having my hair done on saturday in the morning, I have to be in the house on Saturday afternoon because my cousin is coming to pick some stuff up for her new place. I'm at my friends mum's engagement party on Saturday night. On sunday I'm at my neices 2nd birthday party. Monday, I pretty much have the day to myself, but Chris is at work, it would have been nice to spend some time together! Then Tuesday Chris is off but it's My neices actual birthday that day!!! Yes that means we have to go and see her again. Don't ask!!!! She's the first baby in the family for a long time (Chris's side of the family) so a big fuss has to be made!!!!! None of this will happen when we have kids, it sounds too much like hard work to me. Maybe the excitement will have died down by then!!!!

So there we go, now you know in advance that if I don't post anything over the weekend it's because every spare moment I get will be spent sleeping or cleaning!!!!!

Well What a weekend!!!

2004-06-01T13:36:00.000+01:00

Is tuesday, I've had a long weekend and a mad one.

I went out with everyone from work on Friday night, we went round a few bars in town and then onto one of the late bars and had a bit of a dance. Apparently I was dancing all night!!!!!! Well it definately felt like it the next morning. I was so tired and I had a sore throat from all the shouting over the loud music!!

I stayed in on Saturday night, but that was when I got a strange text!!! My cousin is married to another one of my cousins (all legal and above board, if a little strange) Me and Chris sometimes meet them both for drinks with their little boy. So I thought nothing of it when she texted me asking if we'd like to meet for a drink, but when I read the message more closely I realised it was all 'I' and 'Me' and not 'us' and 'we'. so I text her back to ask if it was just girly thing or if my other cousin was going to be there. She told me it was just a girly thing. Which in itself is strange because I can hardly remember meeting her on my own. So I went round on my own on Sunday. When I got there she told me that her and my other cousin are seperating because they have both been seeing other people!!!!!

Shock horror!!!!!

I thought these two people had such a strong relationship, because they had been through so much together proving that they loved each other because the family wasn't all for it!!!!! I just couldn't believe it. So all in all it's been strange, I'm not sure what to do, because they are both my cousins, normally when people split up it means that you may not see one of them much at all, but I have to have contact with both of them because they are both my cousins.

Families hey!! Who'd have em! Well no matter what I wouldn't be with out them!

I'm Back!!

2004-05-26T14:14:00.000+01:00

Sorry I've been slightly busy over the weekend, I came back to work yesterday but I had loads to do so I didn't have time to write.

I went to a barbeque on Saturday, it was at my friends house down the road, it was her boyfriends 21st. We had a really good time and we all went into town together afterwards.

On Sunday I went to the Good Home Show at the NEC in Birmingham, we were there all day it was really good, I went with My mum's sister. They were giving away loads of freebies and we had a couple of free glasses of martini! I came back with bags and bags of stuff, and I'd hardly spent anything.

On Monday it was my Nana's funeral, it was nice to get it all over and done with. Nearly all the family were there apart from the little ones. We all went to the New Inn in Little Eaton for a few drinks and some food afterwards, Chris came along too, he managed to get the day off. It was a lovely day the sun was shining all day, which made the day so much more bearable.

Hoorah the weekend is here!!!!

2004-05-21T12:47:00.000+01:00

I am sooo tired and so in need of a lie in. The past couple of weeks have really done me in. I have decided I need a treat so I'm going to the pub at lunch with the guys and we're all going to have a chip butty, forget the diet!!!!!!

I'm sat at work at the moment and the sun is shining directly onto my back, it's so nice, the only downside is that it makes my computer screen very difficult to see!

2004-05-20T14:16:00.000+01:00

Its Thursday, I am tired again, I didn't get my night in front of the telly as I planned yesterday, we got a phone call at tea time and it was my father in-law asking us out for a drink, so we went out for a couple. My brother and sister in-law were there with our Neice Jessica. Jessica's two going on 22, and a right little handful, but it's fun seeing her grow up.

I'm going swimming tonight after work, and then I definately have promised myself a night of doing very little apart from cooking the dinner.

I met my mum at lunch to go and organise the flowers for Nan' funeral on Monday. I picked a posy with pink and burgandy flowers in it, it's small but effective.

I'm going to the good home show on Sunday with my aunty, i'm looking forward to that, I hope I'm not too hungover though cos we're at a 21st birthday party the night before!!!!!

All is well!

2004-05-19T10:47:00.000+01:00

Chris really enjoyed his first day in his new job, he says it's very relaxing because he's not the manager. He says he does want to be a manager again but this will be a nice break for him until something else comes up.

I had a fantastic game of squash last night with my friend Helena, I nearly won, and she says I am getting loads better.

I didn't have a great nights sleep though, I woke up at midnight to some screaming outside, I thought someone was being attacked so I ran to the window but all I could see was a fox, I wonder if it was that?

I keep forgetting that it's my Nana's funeral on Monday, it's been such a long time coming, I'm worried i'll get really upset again. The good thing is Chris is able to come, his new boss has let him have Monday off, it'll be good to have his support.

Nearly home time.

2004-05-18T17:19:00.000+01:00

What a day I've been so busy, I don't feel like I've stopped all day. Well I should sleep well tonight. I'm going home in about ten minutes and I'm soooooooo ready. I'm playing squash tonight at 8.40pm, it seems ages away, I'll have just got comfy in front of the telly by then!!!!! I'm getting quite good at it now, even if I do say so myself.

A new start.

2004-05-18T11:31:00.000+01:00

Well Chris has started his new job for now, he couldn't wait to get there. It's great to see him happy again and his confidence in himself has reappeared. He can't stand not having a job, he's never really been out of work before so it was an eye opener for him.

From now on we're going to have to be extra carefull with our money, I think what has happened will make us appreciate every little penny we have and it will make us think before we buy things.

I am so relieved everything has turned out for the best, I don't know how Chris would have coped if he's have been out of work for a long time.

I'm so happy happy happy!!!!!!!!!

Hubby has job!!!!!!!

2004-05-17T17:01:00.000+01:00

He went for the interview this afternoon and he's got the job, he starts tomorrow at 8am.

He's really pleased, I might even take him out for a drink tonight (Being as i'm th main breadwinner now!!!!)

The positive thinking may have worked!!!!!!!!!!

2004-05-17T14:34:00.000+01:00

Chris has just phoned and told me that he may have a job to tide him over until a management position comes up at his old place.

He's got to pop and see this guy at three o'clock, so everyone keep everything crossed for him!!!!!!!!!!!!

Positive thinking

2004-05-17T11:29:00.000+01:00

Well Chris is still without a job, but we are trying to stay positive. He's applied for loads of positions so soon we should be hearing from some of them (Fingers crossed).

The weekend was ok, I did the race for life (See last post), Chris left the hot tap on in the bathroom for three hours on Saturday (I was not impressed). We went to a BBQ at Chris's mum and dads yesterday, I was really tired though so I didn't enjoy it that much.

Anyway that was my weekend, not thrilling but OK.

Race for Life part 2

2004-05-17T10:16:00.000+01:00

Well I completed the Race for Life yesterday, it only took us about 45 mins and I really enjoyed it, it was really hot so I got slightly sun burnt, but the great thing was that all the women were there for the same reason. I have managed to raise £110.00 in sponsor money so that's great too. I think we're going to do it again next year.

The cloud has lifted

2004-05-14T10:39:00.000+01:00

Well today seems so much more bearable, Chris is still unemployed but relieved thet he hasn't got to go back to a job he really did not like. I've just get to get him sorted with the internet looking for a job, he's not very confident at the moment. So I think this weekend will be spent applying for loads of jobs.

I've got a big meeting this afternoon, I'm actually looking forward to it, but I'm going out for a couple of drinks at lunch to work myself up to it. I've also got to cheer up my friend at work Mike, he's having a bad time of it at the moment, what with studying for some accountancy exams and work, he's always tired and sometimes he can be a bit off with me so I thought we'd go out for lunch and he can have a good moan about it all.

Anyway better go TTFN

Em

What a Day!!!!!!

2004-05-13T14:51:00.000+01:00

Well things have not improved much, we've had to cancell signing for the new mortgage, but it's ok because we are able to put that off for six months. I think we may end up not doing it at all, one of the only reasons we were doing it was so we could borrow some money on top of the mortgage to do up the kitchen, I think i'll live with the one i've got.

I nipped home to see Chris at lunch and he's really low, he's worried that people think or will think that he's no good at anything now, he's really had his confidence knocked. I'm so angry with his bosses for making him feel this way, Chris feels like he's no good to me now he's not bringing any money in, and this is only the beginning. What if he's out of work for weeks, what will that do to him?

Mum and Dad have said that they will help us if we need any money so that's nice of them, I think we can just about manage to pay the bills with my wages but that's all it will cover, that's not to mention things like food, petrol, the insurance on the car etc..... it all adds up.

Even if chris does get a job soon, there's no guarentee the money will be any near what he was getting.

I sort of wish it was me that lost the job, because I'm not the main breadwinner it wouldn't be such an issue, we would have got by just fine on Chris's wages.

I suppose I should be greatfull that I have got such a great job, but I wish Chris could have the same.

But as they say everything happens for a reason and I'm hoping that that's true and that in a few months time we look back and say that we're glad all this happened because Chris may have a better job that he really likes. I hope all this makes our relationship stronger as well.

Anyway got to go

See ya

Nightmare

2004-05-13T09:40:00.000+01:00

Well they say it never rains it pours and they couldn't be more wrong at the moment. Chris lost his job this morning and on the day we were due to sign for our new mortgage (Which was very dependant on Chris's wages). I have done notheing but cry all morning, it's just a complete nightmare, and I am not coping very well at all.

I honestly don't know where to turn, Chris is my rock and now he's like a broken man. Don't get me wrong he didn't love the job and it wasn't ideal for him, but having a job sometimes gives you the confidence to find another, Chris's confidence has been completely knocked.

He only started the job last year but it took alot for him to do that, the place he was at before was fine and he'd been there for 5 years and I think it was a case of better the devil you know, he was attracted to this job because the money was a bit better and that meant we could finally do all the things to the house that we've been wanting to do for ages. So he left and started at this new place. He seemed to be getting on well with them to start with, but after Christmas things started looking bad and they took a disliking to him, they kept preventing him from doing his job properly, then this morning they fired him. They said it wasn't working out.

I don't get it, I don't understand how they cannot like Chris, what is there not to like? But then i'm his wife!!!!

Anyway i'll let you know what happens, speak soon, em x

Race for Life

2004-05-12T16:33:00.000+01:00

I am doing the Race for Life this weekend for Cancer Research. Funnily enough i'm looking forward to it, I don't always enjoy things like that, but it's only three miles and I've raised over £60.00 in sponsor money already.

It's come at a good time really, I'm going to race in memory of my Nan (you have a pink piece of paper on your back where you write the name of the person you're running in memory of).

At work

2004-05-12T15:50:00.000+01:00

A little bored and still emotional from a bad weekend, my Nan died on Sunday, she's been ill for a long time, so in a way it's a relief but it's still sad. The funeral isn't for another week or so yet, which isn't great as I think just as I'm getting over it all I have to go through it all again at the funeral.

I'm trying to remember all the good times, which is easy as Nan had her moments!!!!

Work have been really good about it all, I'm glad I work in such a nice place.

It sounds wierd but I'm sort of looking forward to the funeral, because I can see all my cousins. I haven't seen some of them since me and Chris got married. It seems to be that way now we've all grown up we only see each other at weddings and funerals!!!

Anyway better get on with some work

See ya